Well last Monday was pretty exciting for a variety of reasons. Our boss John has gone on holiday for 4 weeks putting Kev in charge. We are approximately 3-4 staff members short. So the guys have been sneaking off for smokes and because our groups are no longer by houses they are palming contraband from house to house.
Our morning activities got rained out so we ended up just rolling with and finding things to do and keep the boys busy. In the afternoon it cleared up and normal play resumed. That nights me and Rowena went to go hang out with some of the upper ranch houses. About 20 mins into a game of cards the rain picked up and the guys chilling outside the house on the porch sprinted inside followed by micellaneous pieces of wood and debris. Ten seconds later and the tornado warning came through and we got stuck there for another half an hour. Once the rain and the wind calmed down we decided we better head back to our houses before we got stuck in for the night. Unfortunately the road back to our houses was blocked by a fallen tree and so was the alternative route. We went back to a couple of the other houses before deciding to try getting round the tree 4x4 style in our borrowed beater Betty when we noticed that there was a rather large oak tree hanging from the power line. End of story though we decided that we'd risk it and we made it back to our houses. As I pulled up to our house all the other guys were walking up towards camp so I made a U turn and took them back up to the activities building so we could pick up some of the camping gear there as our lights had gone out and there were lanterns there. AS we were loading up the car Holly came tearing across the yard and was yelling " there's another tornado about 5 minutes away get inside now!'. So we all piled back into the car when Hazza takes off into the case managers building. So I start beeping the horn and we're all yelling for him to hurry up, he's gone for good on 5 minutes when Kev runs in to get him a couple minutes later both of them come out. When Hazza got into the car we all started getting stuck into him for farting about as usual, when he Kev lets us know that Harry was busy chattting. Just after we got the last of the camping gear back into our house the second storm started. We ended up just playing cards by lantern and having coffee heated by candles and talking to the other houses on the radios, turns out the second tornado jumped across the valley and went straight on from there so I guess we were pretty lucky. For a crazy situationit was pretty fun and there were a lot of funny stories the next day particularly the house whose boys did an impromptu last confession.
On the weekend we headed over to another camp to party with the other Camp America people and funnily enough nothing over here is without drama. Me and Kev were going tubing down the river when we get to our stop. Next thing I hear John my boss yelling to get out of the water throw my tube to the side and start chasing. So I'm running along in my jandals following everyone else like a headless chicken for about 5 minutes before I find out what had happened. Anyway earlier while I was making my way down the river a couple of guys saw a fight breaking out so they went over to intercede when this one dude ran up a bank straight to where our car was and smashed our windscreen with an oar. So everyone was chasing this one guy trying to catch him so we could get our money. End of story we didn't catch him but took his rental canoe which later we found out had a resonable stash of coke of on it. His friend who managed to get the crap kicked out of him told us he was coming back with "30 of his niggas and shotguns once they all got coked up again".
Moral of the story: let the hicks bash the shit of each other then raid their canoe.
But we still partied on, we had a real international party there were aussies, scots, irish, russian and english to go with our austrian, south african and swede and the aussies, english and kiwi of course. We partied pretty late on the river bank, swum till around 1 in the morning and slept out under the stars on a hard bed of rocks and got woken harshly by the sun but it was definately one of the things I did Camp America for.
Anyway I think thats the jist of it.
Laters
Matt
P.S. My mullet and beard are coming along nicely. I am getting my "I (Heart) MOM " tattoo next week. The anchor on my other arm has only just healed.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Friday, July 15, 2005
One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest...
Dear Avid Reader,
Well I know its been awhile but surprisingly I have been very busy.
Since I last wrote I have been on a Wagon Train think any western movie. We were supposed to stay overnight in a tepee but it was too hot. In fact we only got to ride the horses for an hour as well because the sun was beating down pretty hard. I ended up spending about 5 hours in the sun 2 days lifeguarding, yeah think Baywatch! Anyway the next day I managed to play sports all day and was pretty tired the next day. The following day was the hottest day we've had this summer, we were on heat advisory warning so in true Wheelchair fashion I got heat stroke and managed to start a verbal tirade with one of the other Camp America staff right before I proceeded to dry retch for about 10 minutes. Lovely. Anyway end of story guy got sent to another camp for being a lazy useless git but enough of that, except lets just say that I made sure I locked up my valuables the day he left.
Funnily enough my week hadn't ended there I was doing a tug of war contest with the 2 lockdown houses and after the first round I was standing there talking to some kids and next thing I hear 2 kids abusing each other so I turn around to see whats going on and end up getting knocked on the ground as one kid pushed the other and the back of his head whipped into the front of mine. I then had to go work as a house parent that evening and ended up with a headache all night but luckily and strangely enough no concussion.
So much has been going on I can't remember a lot of it, I've been spending quite a lot of my free time just chilling with the different houses so that's been keeping my nights pretty busy. Although the other the night we ended up going to a redneck reception at the Roadhouse and yes I do have pictures it was hella funny. Groom dressed as up in waistcoat and bowtie etc but wearing basketball boots and singing terrible kareoke. I am officially the Camp America Fire Bug as I seem to have a knack for lighting fires, all the practice as a junior pyromanic has finally come in handy. We spend a lot of time lighting fires at night and usually in the weekend there's no other way for us to cook food for 10 with a microwave and a small hot plate.
We went to St Louis last weekend just to get away which was pretty fun, spend it at the city museum which is hard to put into words so you'll just have to wait and see the photos. Its kind of an arty, playground that you pretty much just run around and find stuff to crawl through, climb up or slide down. Speaking of photos have I told you how much I am hating technology lately? WELL my ipod has decided to crap out on me. Nevermind the music as I can rip that all again when i get home but I have all my Europe photos and some early camp photos on their as well. Do you think it will still be under warranty if I throw it against a wall?
The last week has been spent with a bunch of christians running a basketball camp with prayer group at every quarter break. I've made sure that I've been "busy" with other things during this time as I get the feeling a fair bit of ceiling painting goes on in these parts and not to mention "exorcising the demon". They're trying hard to convert me but I just throw up the horns at them......
Because basketball camp has been on and all of the rest of the trainned permanent staff have been trainning this work it fell on me and Kev to work Hill. This was an interesting experience, I haven't raised my voice the whole time I've been here (hard to believe I know) but by the second day I was definately a few decibels louder. On the first day within the few minutes of having the boys I had to stop a fight. On the third day I officially became a "Hill Man" as I had to do my first restraint. It definately wasn't a pleasant experience. It wasn't like a fight or when you stop a fight and just take them down. We had to hold this kid to the ground for at least 30 minutes while he screamed non stop the whole time. While all this was going on the whole house went crazy. Others were trying to get out of their rooms to either see what was going on or settle old scores. One kid starting banging his head on the wall so we went to put him in timeout where he kept banging his head on the wall and punching himself in the face. He ended up getting transferred to a mental hospital. I hope I don't have to see a kid like that again, it was pretty scary it was like watching something out of a funny farm movie and I had no idea what to do.
Anyway I guess its all character building in the end and i am enjoying it, although I have kinda stopped eating a little bit (even stranger I know!) but the food is terrible and its just been to hot lately.
Take Care and make sure to comment
PS: To all my new and old friends in London if you happen to be reading this let me know how you guys are! Best wishes.
Well I know its been awhile but surprisingly I have been very busy.
Since I last wrote I have been on a Wagon Train think any western movie. We were supposed to stay overnight in a tepee but it was too hot. In fact we only got to ride the horses for an hour as well because the sun was beating down pretty hard. I ended up spending about 5 hours in the sun 2 days lifeguarding, yeah think Baywatch! Anyway the next day I managed to play sports all day and was pretty tired the next day. The following day was the hottest day we've had this summer, we were on heat advisory warning so in true Wheelchair fashion I got heat stroke and managed to start a verbal tirade with one of the other Camp America staff right before I proceeded to dry retch for about 10 minutes. Lovely. Anyway end of story guy got sent to another camp for being a lazy useless git but enough of that, except lets just say that I made sure I locked up my valuables the day he left.
Funnily enough my week hadn't ended there I was doing a tug of war contest with the 2 lockdown houses and after the first round I was standing there talking to some kids and next thing I hear 2 kids abusing each other so I turn around to see whats going on and end up getting knocked on the ground as one kid pushed the other and the back of his head whipped into the front of mine. I then had to go work as a house parent that evening and ended up with a headache all night but luckily and strangely enough no concussion.
So much has been going on I can't remember a lot of it, I've been spending quite a lot of my free time just chilling with the different houses so that's been keeping my nights pretty busy. Although the other the night we ended up going to a redneck reception at the Roadhouse and yes I do have pictures it was hella funny. Groom dressed as up in waistcoat and bowtie etc but wearing basketball boots and singing terrible kareoke. I am officially the Camp America Fire Bug as I seem to have a knack for lighting fires, all the practice as a junior pyromanic has finally come in handy. We spend a lot of time lighting fires at night and usually in the weekend there's no other way for us to cook food for 10 with a microwave and a small hot plate.
We went to St Louis last weekend just to get away which was pretty fun, spend it at the city museum which is hard to put into words so you'll just have to wait and see the photos. Its kind of an arty, playground that you pretty much just run around and find stuff to crawl through, climb up or slide down. Speaking of photos have I told you how much I am hating technology lately? WELL my ipod has decided to crap out on me. Nevermind the music as I can rip that all again when i get home but I have all my Europe photos and some early camp photos on their as well. Do you think it will still be under warranty if I throw it against a wall?
The last week has been spent with a bunch of christians running a basketball camp with prayer group at every quarter break. I've made sure that I've been "busy" with other things during this time as I get the feeling a fair bit of ceiling painting goes on in these parts and not to mention "exorcising the demon". They're trying hard to convert me but I just throw up the horns at them......
Because basketball camp has been on and all of the rest of the trainned permanent staff have been trainning this work it fell on me and Kev to work Hill. This was an interesting experience, I haven't raised my voice the whole time I've been here (hard to believe I know) but by the second day I was definately a few decibels louder. On the first day within the few minutes of having the boys I had to stop a fight. On the third day I officially became a "Hill Man" as I had to do my first restraint. It definately wasn't a pleasant experience. It wasn't like a fight or when you stop a fight and just take them down. We had to hold this kid to the ground for at least 30 minutes while he screamed non stop the whole time. While all this was going on the whole house went crazy. Others were trying to get out of their rooms to either see what was going on or settle old scores. One kid starting banging his head on the wall so we went to put him in timeout where he kept banging his head on the wall and punching himself in the face. He ended up getting transferred to a mental hospital. I hope I don't have to see a kid like that again, it was pretty scary it was like watching something out of a funny farm movie and I had no idea what to do.
Anyway I guess its all character building in the end and i am enjoying it, although I have kinda stopped eating a little bit (even stranger I know!) but the food is terrible and its just been to hot lately.
Take Care and make sure to comment
PS: To all my new and old friends in London if you happen to be reading this let me know how you guys are! Best wishes.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Grand Theft Auto : Black, Missouri
Man has the last couple of days been a whirlwind of activity.
Yesterday things came to a head with Shaun, as there were a couple more incidents that day involving him and the boys. He ended up having to have a meeting with our boss Shaun and the Camp Director. We had to have a big group meeting at the end of the day to address the animosity that was building. Halfway through the meeting Shaun decided he wanted to leave but then the bosses took him aside and had a talk with him. The biggest problem ended up him pretending to understand english and not really. So we're all sorted now that we've had our big group hug.
Finally I got to start a fire!!! We ended up having a our own little camp fire that night and we managed to scrounge a guitar from one of the house parents and ended up sitting round the fire and playing guitar, singing songs and having a couple of beers. The fire got going pretty good for a couple of city boys getting the fire started. Well it was all going well till I burnt my finger trying to get the fire going better.
I had a full on first day of activities where we played Ultimate and Flag football house against house. No one wanted to play Ultimate and instead they opted for soccer (god knows why? Jokes we couldn't find the frisbee). It went pretty well, I managed to score a few goals in soccer and then scored a touchdown on the return from the kick off, its nice I seem to be getting picked for teams quite early. LOL.
Anyway today was one for the books, we had a pretty cruisy morning and ended up playing flag football again. After that we had group and then in the afternoon I got river duty for the second day in a row. In the morning I was spewing that I had drawn river duty 2 days in a row as I hadn't felt like a swim but by the time mid morning rolled round I'd changed my mind pretty quickly. Today was the hottest day we've had since I've been there. So I took the boys down to the river for a swim. When you're down by the river you are out of range for the radio. So everythings going on so well that I give the house a positive write up (the first that I've done either positive or negative), saunter back to camp going on about what a great day I've had. Then I got filled in on the rest of the days events. Mum you may wanna skip this part.......now you're hooked aren't you? So yesterday 2 boys tried running away into the woods trying to make their way to the highway, they got disoriented and ended up doing this big circle and started walking back towards camp. They both got sent to Hill and solitary for their efforts.
Today the same 2 boys and 1 other ran away again. They ran into the camp accountant and bashed him in the head with a rock leaving him unconcious. The 3 made their way down the highway again and as a Jeep Cherokee approached them ran into the road screaming for help. The car of course stopped and the 3 boys ended up car jacking this lady's car. Now this lady happened to be the county DFS (Department of Family Services) worker. So they're driving around and managed to flip this car into a ditch and got left with minor injuries. Chances are they will now be sent to a level 4 facility, Valley Springs is level 3.
Oh one of the girls received a "death" threat today by one of the boys she sent to Hill so things are pretty much all peaches and cream here. But hey I had one of the best days ever!
So guys don't stress its 'all good' I'm having a ball and I do feel quite safe particularly when I got told today that I was an 'OG', " you know cuz an original gansta' . Anyway if you know what that means let me know all I know is they told me it was a good thing.
Laters
Matt
Yesterday things came to a head with Shaun, as there were a couple more incidents that day involving him and the boys. He ended up having to have a meeting with our boss Shaun and the Camp Director. We had to have a big group meeting at the end of the day to address the animosity that was building. Halfway through the meeting Shaun decided he wanted to leave but then the bosses took him aside and had a talk with him. The biggest problem ended up him pretending to understand english and not really. So we're all sorted now that we've had our big group hug.
Finally I got to start a fire!!! We ended up having a our own little camp fire that night and we managed to scrounge a guitar from one of the house parents and ended up sitting round the fire and playing guitar, singing songs and having a couple of beers. The fire got going pretty good for a couple of city boys getting the fire started. Well it was all going well till I burnt my finger trying to get the fire going better.
I had a full on first day of activities where we played Ultimate and Flag football house against house. No one wanted to play Ultimate and instead they opted for soccer (god knows why? Jokes we couldn't find the frisbee). It went pretty well, I managed to score a few goals in soccer and then scored a touchdown on the return from the kick off, its nice I seem to be getting picked for teams quite early. LOL.
Anyway today was one for the books, we had a pretty cruisy morning and ended up playing flag football again. After that we had group and then in the afternoon I got river duty for the second day in a row. In the morning I was spewing that I had drawn river duty 2 days in a row as I hadn't felt like a swim but by the time mid morning rolled round I'd changed my mind pretty quickly. Today was the hottest day we've had since I've been there. So I took the boys down to the river for a swim. When you're down by the river you are out of range for the radio. So everythings going on so well that I give the house a positive write up (the first that I've done either positive or negative), saunter back to camp going on about what a great day I've had. Then I got filled in on the rest of the days events. Mum you may wanna skip this part.......now you're hooked aren't you? So yesterday 2 boys tried running away into the woods trying to make their way to the highway, they got disoriented and ended up doing this big circle and started walking back towards camp. They both got sent to Hill and solitary for their efforts.
Today the same 2 boys and 1 other ran away again. They ran into the camp accountant and bashed him in the head with a rock leaving him unconcious. The 3 made their way down the highway again and as a Jeep Cherokee approached them ran into the road screaming for help. The car of course stopped and the 3 boys ended up car jacking this lady's car. Now this lady happened to be the county DFS (Department of Family Services) worker. So they're driving around and managed to flip this car into a ditch and got left with minor injuries. Chances are they will now be sent to a level 4 facility, Valley Springs is level 3.
Oh one of the girls received a "death" threat today by one of the boys she sent to Hill so things are pretty much all peaches and cream here. But hey I had one of the best days ever!
So guys don't stress its 'all good' I'm having a ball and I do feel quite safe particularly when I got told today that I was an 'OG', " you know cuz an original gansta' . Anyway if you know what that means let me know all I know is they told me it was a good thing.
Laters
Matt
Monday, June 20, 2005
Hey Charlie Brown you've done it again.......
Well contrary to a few of the emails I've received I am still alive but barely. On Friday me and Kev were working the morning shift together and half our group were on work patrol so we ended up playing Spades (i'll teach it to you when I get home) in the shade underneath a tree by the basketball court ( a real prison yard feel!).
So we were having a pretty cruisy morning and after we headed to group we all walked of to the lunch. I had lunch in the second group and while the boys are praying we get our lunch so we're ready to go straight away. So I sit down with my cafeteria tray consisting of a pretty tasty beef burrito\kebab, onion rings and fruit salad. I make my way through the burrito\kebab and onion rings and start in on the fruit salad. I pick away and eat all the apple and mandarins out of it and then start noticing the strange yet familiar itching in my ears and throat. So i look back down at my fruit salad and lo and behold I find a whole bunch of chopped walnuts. Unlike my pesto incident in Florence quite fortunately the otherside of my bunkhouse is a medical centre. How good is that for someone nicknamed Wheelchair??? So I'm sitting in the dining hall after I've taken an antihistamine but its not really working. John (my boss) rushes me a 200m down the road to the medical centre, i get rushed through and they hook me up to monitor my pulse, blood pressure and then jab me with some kind of shot leaving me feeling quite dizzy and tired ( oh they hooked my up to a nebuliser as well coz of the asthma attack induced by the walnuts) and with the afternoon off.
I ended up getting to sleep the afternoon away and went out for dinner with some of the other staff at the ranch owners restaurant that was frequented by many of the ranch owners staff (hmm money going round in circles eh?). Later that night we all headed back to the Roadhouse for more kareoke only to find that kareoke had changed to Saturday this week (sly rednecks!). We all proceeded to get pretty boozed and there were drinks and filthy (dirty is far to inaccurate a word to use) dancing a plenty. Hazza refused to have a drink much to the chagrin of the rest of the bar who were chanting "Harry, Harry, Harry" and letting down a fine tradition of beer swilling, one eyed Cantab sheep shaggers (how did Marshall into the squad? Is he bring on the oranges at half time?). A couple of girls tried to get Hazza the Rigid Robot to dance but Harry looked like he needed a dozen cans of CRC to get those joints of his moving. Harry was definately the man of the night though everyone was trying to get a reation out of him, there were many a Harry sandwich made and as I recall he got bent over a few girls knees and spanked. Hazza's response to all this was ................"OK".
It is my mission this summer to get a response other than 'OK' in any given situation preferably I am hoping to get him to call me an 'F ing Muppet' or punch me.
Anyway we're all pretty hung over the next day and public enemy number 1 Mnimzi aka Shaun locked himself out of the bunkhouse and spent the night on the couch at one of the other houses. He decides to return home at 7.50am while everyone else is sleeping. Then wakes the whole house up and starts watching a movie, to be frank I nearly smacked him the head but thought that probably not the best thing to do in a camp where they are trying to teach the boys about non violent answers to problems, instead I gave him a brief verbal bollocking and sat there waiting for him to bait me some more so I could really give it a good nudge like the mature adult that I am.
At about 12o'clock that day we get picked up to go to Karen the spiritual therapists for a barbeque. After driving somewhat round in circles by a local we finally arrive at Karen's. As we walk up I see the one of the biggest piles of shit I've ever seen and as I'm wondering what the hell made this I almost walk into an even bigger pile. So we're making our way up to her house and the phrase 'little old lady with lots of cats" comes to mind. Karen a " recycled hippie" as she calls herself guides us up to the dining room where we get a drink. Next thing the girls are going "oh wow" this and "oh wow" that and I turn around and there are to great big horses just wandering round her garden. I go down to have a cigarette and as I'm finishing I ask Karen where I can butt it out she tells me to follow her and I go and get a can and this giant horse starts following me around the place like a lost puppy dog. We finish up lunch and then take a quick walk up to the river before turning round to head back to camp as Ashley (one of the local activity staff who drove us there) has to get back to her kids. So we start going and to end an absolutely perfect couple of days our fan belt goes and the radiator goes kaput. At this point we're about 10 mins from Karens and approximately 1 hr from camp. So we spend the next hour winding up Harry, singing and talking a very large amount of shit before our rescue van comes to get us.
That's pretty much that, we start taking the kids for the full days now that summer schools over so I'm pretty sure that I'll have a whole lot more to say later and more wayward Roadhouse adventures....
Y'all come back now y'hear
Matt
So we were having a pretty cruisy morning and after we headed to group we all walked of to the lunch. I had lunch in the second group and while the boys are praying we get our lunch so we're ready to go straight away. So I sit down with my cafeteria tray consisting of a pretty tasty beef burrito\kebab, onion rings and fruit salad. I make my way through the burrito\kebab and onion rings and start in on the fruit salad. I pick away and eat all the apple and mandarins out of it and then start noticing the strange yet familiar itching in my ears and throat. So i look back down at my fruit salad and lo and behold I find a whole bunch of chopped walnuts. Unlike my pesto incident in Florence quite fortunately the otherside of my bunkhouse is a medical centre. How good is that for someone nicknamed Wheelchair??? So I'm sitting in the dining hall after I've taken an antihistamine but its not really working. John (my boss) rushes me a 200m down the road to the medical centre, i get rushed through and they hook me up to monitor my pulse, blood pressure and then jab me with some kind of shot leaving me feeling quite dizzy and tired ( oh they hooked my up to a nebuliser as well coz of the asthma attack induced by the walnuts) and with the afternoon off.
I ended up getting to sleep the afternoon away and went out for dinner with some of the other staff at the ranch owners restaurant that was frequented by many of the ranch owners staff (hmm money going round in circles eh?). Later that night we all headed back to the Roadhouse for more kareoke only to find that kareoke had changed to Saturday this week (sly rednecks!). We all proceeded to get pretty boozed and there were drinks and filthy (dirty is far to inaccurate a word to use) dancing a plenty. Hazza refused to have a drink much to the chagrin of the rest of the bar who were chanting "Harry, Harry, Harry" and letting down a fine tradition of beer swilling, one eyed Cantab sheep shaggers (how did Marshall into the squad? Is he bring on the oranges at half time?). A couple of girls tried to get Hazza the Rigid Robot to dance but Harry looked like he needed a dozen cans of CRC to get those joints of his moving. Harry was definately the man of the night though everyone was trying to get a reation out of him, there were many a Harry sandwich made and as I recall he got bent over a few girls knees and spanked. Hazza's response to all this was ................"OK".
It is my mission this summer to get a response other than 'OK' in any given situation preferably I am hoping to get him to call me an 'F ing Muppet' or punch me.
Anyway we're all pretty hung over the next day and public enemy number 1 Mnimzi aka Shaun locked himself out of the bunkhouse and spent the night on the couch at one of the other houses. He decides to return home at 7.50am while everyone else is sleeping. Then wakes the whole house up and starts watching a movie, to be frank I nearly smacked him the head but thought that probably not the best thing to do in a camp where they are trying to teach the boys about non violent answers to problems, instead I gave him a brief verbal bollocking and sat there waiting for him to bait me some more so I could really give it a good nudge like the mature adult that I am.
At about 12o'clock that day we get picked up to go to Karen the spiritual therapists for a barbeque. After driving somewhat round in circles by a local we finally arrive at Karen's. As we walk up I see the one of the biggest piles of shit I've ever seen and as I'm wondering what the hell made this I almost walk into an even bigger pile. So we're making our way up to her house and the phrase 'little old lady with lots of cats" comes to mind. Karen a " recycled hippie" as she calls herself guides us up to the dining room where we get a drink. Next thing the girls are going "oh wow" this and "oh wow" that and I turn around and there are to great big horses just wandering round her garden. I go down to have a cigarette and as I'm finishing I ask Karen where I can butt it out she tells me to follow her and I go and get a can and this giant horse starts following me around the place like a lost puppy dog. We finish up lunch and then take a quick walk up to the river before turning round to head back to camp as Ashley (one of the local activity staff who drove us there) has to get back to her kids. So we start going and to end an absolutely perfect couple of days our fan belt goes and the radiator goes kaput. At this point we're about 10 mins from Karens and approximately 1 hr from camp. So we spend the next hour winding up Harry, singing and talking a very large amount of shit before our rescue van comes to get us.
That's pretty much that, we start taking the kids for the full days now that summer schools over so I'm pretty sure that I'll have a whole lot more to say later and more wayward Roadhouse adventures....
Y'all come back now y'hear
Matt
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Hey Cletus pass me my shotgun........
Had a shithouse first day. We pretty much got chucked our schedules at 7.55am and then got given our groups 5 minutes later with no real preparation. The days are split into the morning group and the afternoon group. Each group has 1 & ½ hrs activities and 1 & ½ hrs group therapy. The 1 & ½ hrs group therapy is really just a chance for us to get our breath back as we just sit in a lounge soaking up the sweet A.C with ciggie breaks every now and then.
I got paired up with one of the aussie girls who tried to stamp her authority in the first 5 minutes and from where I was standing didn’t get to far with it, as it was pretty much just empty threats: “I’ll write you up for this and for that” etc etc. That afternoon I got paired with the Austrian guy and felt like I had to include him in the headcounts, but more later….
The next day was an absolute pearler , no problems whatsoever. I taught them how to play Ultimate Frisbee and I know for sure that will be one of the high lights for the summer. For a change they had to play as a team, and with very little showboating. Even the ‘tougher’ more ‘gansta’ kids were encouraging the weaker players on.
Yesterday I just wanted to go home. Everyday is so different form the next. Anyway I digress. I had group first thing and went out for a smoke, next thing two of the guys are fighting in group and one of them gets sent to Hill. Hill is the bad boys house where there are even fewer privileges if any at all compared to the other houses. So I get the remainder of the group down to the soccer field. At this point I’ve lost the one to Hill, and 2 kids that had to stay behind and see their case managers. So there’s about 7 kids and the Austrian left. I sit out because I’m starting to get heat rash and don’t really want to get all sweaty as well. They start playing 4 aside when 2 kids collide and one gets carted off to the medical center. So now I’m down to six kids. About 20 mins later I’m playing Frisbee and kicking a cocer ball around with 2 of the kids, the other 3 or 4 are sitting in the wagons (think any John Wayne movie), I hear a bit of ‘cussing’ and figure its cool coz Hazza’s got it under control. I turn back around and then 5 seconds later have to turn and sprint to the wagon because it starts shaking and voices being raised and not one of them has an Austrian English accent. I get in there and manage to split it up after being called a ‘c#cksucker’ and getting told to ‘F off’. I ended up having to crab left and right to make sure I was in the middle of this kid wanting to hit the other because he finally spat back at the kid who’d been spitting on him for about 5 mins. I ended up having to send him to Hill because it hadn’t been stopped earlier and finally escalated into an ugly situation.
Nevermind there’s still been a fair bit of fun being had!
We ended up going to this bar called the Roadhouse finally, after having been pre-warned that they didn’t like ‘people who aren’t from round these parts’ , as we got a personal invitation from the owner who said that rumour was ‘codswallop’. So we go in there and there’s drunk old hicks crooning Elvis, Frank Sinatra and the Dixie Chicks to their buck toothed other halfs but a good time was had by all. I didn’t sing but showed the other Camp America people how to torpedo and 2 torpedoes later I was regretting being out of tolerance and also having chosen black Smirnoff ices not the lighter red Smirnoff ones.
The next day I was supposed to have been gone to what was dubbed a natural water park called Reed Springs but it got canned at the last minute and I ended up going into a town called Salem (no not the witch hunting one or the one in the Young and Restless, yes we had this discussion) and went to the cultural icon of America…..Walmart again. The hardest part of camp had got to be the nights and finding things to keep ourselves occupied. Me and Kev have gone absolutely mad and have invested in police helmets (think ChiPs) and Nerf guns to shoot each other with oh and super soakers (water pistols).
We got another impromptu ride to Farmington the next day after we spent the start of the afternoon trying to play soccer for an hour where we spent about ½ an hour organizing teams. We’ve now decided that for any of our day off activities that we decide to take we’ll be picking the teams. These kids play sport like every point is worth a million dollars and every accidental bump is something to die for. So after the shambles that is soccer (I’m talking about the game in general here : P ) we head guess where…….Walmart in Farmington where Kev and I decided to complete our transition to full redneck. One of the things with Walmart is you can buy a shotgun there and shells but you need a week before you can pick it up so we compromised and both bought Daisy BB rifles so that we can sit on our porch (or in our case empty milk crates) and shoot coke cans while smoking Marlboroughs and drinking Budweiser.
On Monday night I think or Sunday, days really are rolling into the next here, we got invited up to the bosses for a bonfire and to try another fine American tradition – smores, which are basically honey wheat biscuits or should I say cookies with half a block of a Hersheys chocolate bar with toasted marshmallows in the middle. They definitely are an experience and tasted quite nice although I did feel a little sick after I had a second one. I really think that I should change the name of this blog to Super Size Me, its almost like all the hard work I put into drinking and losing weight in Europe has gone to waste.
Speaking of food I’ve had a few emails from people who’ve asked what the foods like. Well the local cuisine is called “Missouri Fried fill in the blank”. Meal times are straight out of any prison movie with a camp like setting, I got told that the boys had only just been given the privilege of using metal forks again after there were a couple of stabbing type incidents a couple of months prior. Good luck to anyone looking for a knife to cut up the slabs of meat they give us to eat. A lot of the time though its like we just get to eat home made fast food: hamburgers, corn dogs, sloppy joes (Spag bol minus the spaghetti in a hamburger bun), baloney sandwiches (BTW baloney is luncheon sausage). Anyway mum I’m eating don’t necessarily know about well but I ain’t starving……much.
Since the first incidents that I had told you guys about things have really picked up and most days are pretty good and a lot of the staff here are really surprised that we haven’t had to restrain anyone.
Cheers for your patience and I hope you’re well!
Matt
I got paired up with one of the aussie girls who tried to stamp her authority in the first 5 minutes and from where I was standing didn’t get to far with it, as it was pretty much just empty threats: “I’ll write you up for this and for that” etc etc. That afternoon I got paired with the Austrian guy and felt like I had to include him in the headcounts, but more later….
The next day was an absolute pearler , no problems whatsoever. I taught them how to play Ultimate Frisbee and I know for sure that will be one of the high lights for the summer. For a change they had to play as a team, and with very little showboating. Even the ‘tougher’ more ‘gansta’ kids were encouraging the weaker players on.
Yesterday I just wanted to go home. Everyday is so different form the next. Anyway I digress. I had group first thing and went out for a smoke, next thing two of the guys are fighting in group and one of them gets sent to Hill. Hill is the bad boys house where there are even fewer privileges if any at all compared to the other houses. So I get the remainder of the group down to the soccer field. At this point I’ve lost the one to Hill, and 2 kids that had to stay behind and see their case managers. So there’s about 7 kids and the Austrian left. I sit out because I’m starting to get heat rash and don’t really want to get all sweaty as well. They start playing 4 aside when 2 kids collide and one gets carted off to the medical center. So now I’m down to six kids. About 20 mins later I’m playing Frisbee and kicking a cocer ball around with 2 of the kids, the other 3 or 4 are sitting in the wagons (think any John Wayne movie), I hear a bit of ‘cussing’ and figure its cool coz Hazza’s got it under control. I turn back around and then 5 seconds later have to turn and sprint to the wagon because it starts shaking and voices being raised and not one of them has an Austrian English accent. I get in there and manage to split it up after being called a ‘c#cksucker’ and getting told to ‘F off’. I ended up having to crab left and right to make sure I was in the middle of this kid wanting to hit the other because he finally spat back at the kid who’d been spitting on him for about 5 mins. I ended up having to send him to Hill because it hadn’t been stopped earlier and finally escalated into an ugly situation.
Nevermind there’s still been a fair bit of fun being had!
We ended up going to this bar called the Roadhouse finally, after having been pre-warned that they didn’t like ‘people who aren’t from round these parts’ , as we got a personal invitation from the owner who said that rumour was ‘codswallop’. So we go in there and there’s drunk old hicks crooning Elvis, Frank Sinatra and the Dixie Chicks to their buck toothed other halfs but a good time was had by all. I didn’t sing but showed the other Camp America people how to torpedo and 2 torpedoes later I was regretting being out of tolerance and also having chosen black Smirnoff ices not the lighter red Smirnoff ones.
The next day I was supposed to have been gone to what was dubbed a natural water park called Reed Springs but it got canned at the last minute and I ended up going into a town called Salem (no not the witch hunting one or the one in the Young and Restless, yes we had this discussion) and went to the cultural icon of America…..Walmart again. The hardest part of camp had got to be the nights and finding things to keep ourselves occupied. Me and Kev have gone absolutely mad and have invested in police helmets (think ChiPs) and Nerf guns to shoot each other with oh and super soakers (water pistols).
We got another impromptu ride to Farmington the next day after we spent the start of the afternoon trying to play soccer for an hour where we spent about ½ an hour organizing teams. We’ve now decided that for any of our day off activities that we decide to take we’ll be picking the teams. These kids play sport like every point is worth a million dollars and every accidental bump is something to die for. So after the shambles that is soccer (I’m talking about the game in general here : P ) we head guess where…….Walmart in Farmington where Kev and I decided to complete our transition to full redneck. One of the things with Walmart is you can buy a shotgun there and shells but you need a week before you can pick it up so we compromised and both bought Daisy BB rifles so that we can sit on our porch (or in our case empty milk crates) and shoot coke cans while smoking Marlboroughs and drinking Budweiser.
On Monday night I think or Sunday, days really are rolling into the next here, we got invited up to the bosses for a bonfire and to try another fine American tradition – smores, which are basically honey wheat biscuits or should I say cookies with half a block of a Hersheys chocolate bar with toasted marshmallows in the middle. They definitely are an experience and tasted quite nice although I did feel a little sick after I had a second one. I really think that I should change the name of this blog to Super Size Me, its almost like all the hard work I put into drinking and losing weight in Europe has gone to waste.
Speaking of food I’ve had a few emails from people who’ve asked what the foods like. Well the local cuisine is called “Missouri Fried fill in the blank”. Meal times are straight out of any prison movie with a camp like setting, I got told that the boys had only just been given the privilege of using metal forks again after there were a couple of stabbing type incidents a couple of months prior. Good luck to anyone looking for a knife to cut up the slabs of meat they give us to eat. A lot of the time though its like we just get to eat home made fast food: hamburgers, corn dogs, sloppy joes (Spag bol minus the spaghetti in a hamburger bun), baloney sandwiches (BTW baloney is luncheon sausage). Anyway mum I’m eating don’t necessarily know about well but I ain’t starving……much.
Since the first incidents that I had told you guys about things have really picked up and most days are pretty good and a lot of the staff here are really surprised that we haven’t had to restrain anyone.
Cheers for your patience and I hope you’re well!
Matt
Monday, June 06, 2005
Matt & Kumar, well it was Frank really, go to White Castle sans weed
Well last night was hella eventful,
Went for a ride to the local shops to get some more food for the guys with a guy called Frank,a chain smoking draftee for Nam who ended up taking me for a drive and showed me some of the local scenery. When i got back i ended up playing some soccer and american football, got the first touchdown of the game which i think won me some schoolyard respect! After that we all went to dinner and this one guy collapsed. Earlier in the day he'd been standing on 2 milk crates and fell off.
We had to take him to hospital, it seems whereever I'm around there's always a trip to hospital involved. We were at the hospital for a good 5 hours or so when they finally diagnosed that he had a cardiac contusion, basically he bruised his heart and it made him pass out, he got transferred to a hospital up in St Louis all he could talk about was the fact that he got stuck with needles and they took his blood till i told him that he could be rooming with girl patients, that put a smile on his face!
Meanwhile all the other guys went down to river and lit a fire to roast marshmallows on, they promised we'd do it again soon but really i think think they're just lying bastards.....no i'm not bitter, not one bit. I get a hospital waiting room and they get toasted marshmallows.
On the way home stopped of at White Castle with Frank but neither of us were stoned, interesting the burgers there really are tiny and you can buy them in a 30 box......hmmmm super size me?
Anyway today had life guard trainning and pretty knackered really, will try and post about once a week now that we have some internet access. Things have definately improved in the last couple of days seeing as we've been a whole lot busier.
See ya
Matt
PS: You may or may not notice there are 2 more posts between the one you just read and the last one you read. I'm writing them down in a journal and then typing them up, so if you're interested enough to check make sure you check the ones underneath the latest posts!
Went for a ride to the local shops to get some more food for the guys with a guy called Frank,a chain smoking draftee for Nam who ended up taking me for a drive and showed me some of the local scenery. When i got back i ended up playing some soccer and american football, got the first touchdown of the game which i think won me some schoolyard respect! After that we all went to dinner and this one guy collapsed. Earlier in the day he'd been standing on 2 milk crates and fell off.
We had to take him to hospital, it seems whereever I'm around there's always a trip to hospital involved. We were at the hospital for a good 5 hours or so when they finally diagnosed that he had a cardiac contusion, basically he bruised his heart and it made him pass out, he got transferred to a hospital up in St Louis all he could talk about was the fact that he got stuck with needles and they took his blood till i told him that he could be rooming with girl patients, that put a smile on his face!
Meanwhile all the other guys went down to river and lit a fire to roast marshmallows on, they promised we'd do it again soon but really i think think they're just lying bastards.....no i'm not bitter, not one bit. I get a hospital waiting room and they get toasted marshmallows.
On the way home stopped of at White Castle with Frank but neither of us were stoned, interesting the burgers there really are tiny and you can buy them in a 30 box......hmmmm super size me?
Anyway today had life guard trainning and pretty knackered really, will try and post about once a week now that we have some internet access. Things have definately improved in the last couple of days seeing as we've been a whole lot busier.
See ya
Matt
PS: You may or may not notice there are 2 more posts between the one you just read and the last one you read. I'm writing them down in a journal and then typing them up, so if you're interested enough to check make sure you check the ones underneath the latest posts!
Sunday, June 05, 2005
A Long Hot Summer
Well things are definately heating up here. The weather is so consistantly hot, i feel the pounds just melting away already and its the start of summer.
Spent some time with a couple of cabins today which was interesting. No wonder some of them act up. Their saturday consisted of cards and dvd's when all they wanted to do was throw a ball around.
I know this is quite a contrast from previous blogs but man have things changed since i was on tour. I think today was the most apprehensive i've felt about where i am. We have quite a UN crew here but its so small its quite easy to get in each others faces.
We've had a little to much free time and I think we're all looking forward to getting to work to occupy ourselves.
Laters,
Matt
Spent some time with a couple of cabins today which was interesting. No wonder some of them act up. Their saturday consisted of cards and dvd's when all they wanted to do was throw a ball around.
I know this is quite a contrast from previous blogs but man have things changed since i was on tour. I think today was the most apprehensive i've felt about where i am. We have quite a UN crew here but its so small its quite easy to get in each others faces.
We've had a little to much free time and I think we're all looking forward to getting to work to occupy ourselves.
Laters,
Matt
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